Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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