I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
