Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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