I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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