Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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