he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
