I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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