was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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