ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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