For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize