Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Panties = found
Randomize
