white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
