Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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