I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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