what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
