i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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