***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
