Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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