Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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