Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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