I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
