At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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