I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
