everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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