You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this will be a night to untag.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize