Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
