i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My ass is underappreciated
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
