well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She needs sedatives and a leash
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
