This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
