is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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