I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
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I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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