or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
