THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
