I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
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i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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