Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music