it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything