On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.