come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
