Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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