Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Life is so much better after having sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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