Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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