Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
