just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
