I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
