Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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