hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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