hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
