If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
