just tell him i said nine months
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
