just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
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Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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