With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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