Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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