Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
