I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
