Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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