i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
